Wednesday

Jokingly

Seriously!!! Once you do something stupid and
others find out...YOU are the butt of jokes!
Positively sure you don't have to get permissionfrom the adulterers to make jokes about them!


“Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he fathered a child with a member of his household staff. The woman’s husband became suspicious when he realized she was the first maid to make $1 million a year.” -Jay Leno

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Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.
As they read the menu the waitress comes over and asks Clinton, "Are you ready to order?"
Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!?" The waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea. I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu." She walks away.
Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "Bill, it's pronounced 'Quiche.'"


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Prince Charles decided to take up jogging.

Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

'One hundred and fifty pounds!' she'd shout from the curb.

'No! Five pounds!' He would fire back, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. He'd run by and she'd yell, 'One hundred and Fifty pounds! ' He'd yell back, 'Five pounds!'

One day, Camilla decided that she wanted to accompany her 'husband' on his jog.

As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Prince Charles realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his Wife.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jogged past.

Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled:   'See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard?!'

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Stephen Colbert: "Tiger always gives 110 percent. That is why he gave 100 percent to his wife and still had 10 percent left over for his alleged mistress."

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"Anthony Weiner asked Bill Clinton for advice, and actually followed it for awhile.
Of course eventually he was forced to tell the truth." –Jay Leno
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The Friendly Plumber
A plumber was called to woman's apartment in Treblig Township 
to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover
that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked dish.

During the course of the afternoon, the two became extremely friendly. About 6:30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing the bedroom shenanigans.

"That was my husband," she said, putting down the phone. "He's on his way home, but is going back to the office around 8 p.m.. Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off."

The union plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. "What? On my own time?"     
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"John Edwards' former aide says in an upcoming interview that Edwards asked him to steal a diaper from the baby to do a DNA test. Apparently the test showed that both the diaper and John Edwards are full of crap." -Jay Leno
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A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?" The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."
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Top 10 Eliot Spitzer Excuses
10. Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring
9. Hookers is fun
8. Just trying to help the economy
7. Have you ever been to Albany?
6. It's part of my new MTV prank show "Spitz'd"
5. Haven't been myself since Roy Schieder died
4. Uh, tainted beef?
3. Whether it's a hooker or your wife, you're always paying for it -- you married fellas know what I'm talking about
2. Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics
1. I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago
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Funny Stuff....unless of course-
You can relate!



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