Dishonesty

DISHONESTY (meaning) 1. the tendency to tell lies <if you gain a reputation for dishonesty, no one will believe you even when you're telling the truth>

2. the inclination or practice of misleading others through lies or trickery

Synonyms deceit, deceitfulness, falsehood, mendaciousness, mendacity, untruthfulness craft, craftiness, crookedness, cunning, dissembling, dissimulation, double-dealing, duplicity, fakery, foxiness, guile, guilefulness, insincerity, trickishness, wiliness; falseness; hypocrisy; artifice, cheating, cozenage, craft, craftiness, crookedness, crookery, cunning, cunningness, deceitfulness, deception, deceptiveness, dishonesty, dissembling, dissimulation, double-dealing, dupery, duplicity, fakery, foxiness, fraud, guile, guilefulness, wiliness lying, mendacity, prevarication; fraudulence, hanky-panky, jugglery, legerdemain, mountebankery, obliquity, skulduggery (or skullduggery), subterfuge, swindling, trickery, wile; falsehood, falsity, fib, untruth; hypocrisy, insincerity, sanctimoniousness, two-facedness; artfulness, caginess (also cageyness), deviousness, shrewdness; treacherousness, underhandedness, unscrupulousness; covertness, furtiveness, secrecy, shadiness, sneakiness, stealthiness; oiliness, shiftiness, slickness, slipperiness, slyness

 

So there you go....

dishonesty...and the cousins....

kinda sounds like the definition of

ADULTERY!!!!!

Parental Alienation Syndrome

Oft times in an ADULTEROUS situation-

the guilty adultering parent drums up support from the children by alienating them from the other parent-the MORAL parent. They do this by manipulating situations or giving information to their children that create false scenarios in the child's head...but don't let me tell you about this...this is documented stuff...so from another awesome website I found this...

What Causes Parental Alienation?

What causes a parent to want to damage the relationship of their own child with the other parent at their own child's expense? Intentions differ from one parent to the next, but psychologists have suggested the following as potential motivators:

• An alienating parent may have unresolved anger toward the other parent for perceived wrongs during the relationship and may be unable to separate those issues from parenting issues.
• An alienating parent may have unresolved issues from their childhood, particularly in how they related to their own parents, which he or she projects onto the other parent (whether or not it's factually accurate).
• An alienating parent may have a personality disorder, such as narcissism or paranoia, which makes him or her unable to empathize with the child's feelings or see the way their behavior is harming the child. Such personality disorders may also make the alienating parent more likely to be jealous of the other parent's adjustment to the breakup and cause the alienating parent to have extreme rage toward the other parent.
• An alienating parent may be so insecure as to his or her own parenting skills that he or she projects those concerns onto the other parent, regardless of reality.
• An alienating parent may be so wrapped up in their child's life that he or she has no separate identity and sees the child's relationship with the other parent as a threat.
• Sometimes new spouses or grandparents push the alienating parent into inappropriate behavior for their own inappropriate reasons, and the alienating parent isn't strong enough to resist them.

What causes a child to buy into the alienating parent's brainwashing?

The child may:

• Feel the need to protect a parent who's depressed, panicky or needy
• Want to avoid the anger or rejection of a dominant parent, who's also often the custodial parent
• Want to hold onto the parent the child is most afraid of losing, such as a parent who is self-absorbed or not very involved with the child.

How Does Alienation Occur?

The alienating parent may use a number of techniques, including but not limited to:

• Encouraging the child to pretend the other parent doesn't exist. This can range from not allowing the child to mention the other parent's name to refusing to acknowledge that the child has fun with the other parent.
• Leading the child to believe it's his or her choice as to whether or not to spend time with the other parent.
• Attacking the other parent's character or lifestyle, such as job, living arrangements, planned activities with the child, clothing and friends (particularly new romantic partners).
• Putting the child in the middle, by encouraging the child to spy on the other parent or take messages back and forth.
• Emphasizing the other parent's flaws, such as an occasional burst of temper or not being prepared for the child's activities. Normal parental lapses are blown out of proportion and the child is repeatedly reminded of them.
• Discussing court battles between the parents with the child and encouraging the child to take sides.
• Making the child think there's reason to be afraid of the other parent.
• Lying about how the other parent treats the child. If this is done frequently enough, the child may begin to believe even preposterous suggestions.
• Rewriting history, such as suggesting to the child that the other parent never cared for him or her, even as an infant. The child has no memory of prior events and so can't determine whether the alienating parent is telling the truth or not.

What Does An Alienated Child Look Like? A child who's been successfully alienated:

• Will bad-mouth the other parent with foul language and inaccurate descriptions of the other parent.
• Offer only weak or frivolous reasons for his or her anger toward the targeted parent.
• Professes to have only hatred toward the targeted parent, and can't say anything positive about them.
• Insists that he or she is solely responsible for the attitude toward the other parent, and that the alienating parent had nothing to do with his or her attitude.
• Supports and feels protective toward the alienating parent.
• Doesn't show any empathy or guilt regarding hurting the targeted parent's feelings.
• Doesn't want anything to do with the targeted parent's friends and family.
• May not want to see or talk to the alienated parent.

Basically...it's a BRAINWASHING technique used by the parent with the major balance of custodial time. The child has NO IDEA they are being used and manipulated for the benefit of the

SICK!

INSECURE!

ADULTERING

parent!

Mirrored Circumstances

Okay...so not exactly the same...because the man in this video could get on anyone's nerves....but you can tell he truly does/did love his wife....but his wife is an ADULTERER. Go to 2 1/2 minutes into the video and watch from there until the end.  (you have to watch the commercial before it gets to the news clip)

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/44637793#44637793

(Copy paste this into your web address)

The husband says...

"He didn't know."

"No one knows who she is right now."

"This man was our friend." (speaking of the adultering partner to his wife)

"I feel so betrayed." (Because this Adultering man was a family friend)

Adulterers ALWAYS suddenly become CRAZY!

They lie for a long time and then they lose their minds and become someone else!

Just like stated in a previous post....

there are limits to what can be done in darkness (sin)...

so most adulterous affairs are really.....

the same...

only the names have changed!

Being an Enabler

Do I love the Adulterer so much that I allow the adulterous behavior because I love them? Enabling behavior is born out of our instinct for love. It's only natural to want to help someone we love, but when it comes to certain problems -- helping is like throwing a match on a pool of gas.

Definition of Enabling....In the true sense of the word, to enable is to supply with the means, knowledge, or opportunity to be or do something -- to make feasible or possible.

In it's true form, Enabling behavior means something positive. It's our natural instinct to reach out and help someone we love when they are down or having problems.

However...

when we apply it to certain problems in living - Sexual addiction, chronic troubles, codependency, certain forms of chronic depression -- enabling behaviors have the reverse effect

of what is intended.

Here are some examples...

• Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, adulterous affairs, other "tight spots" they get themselves into
• Giving them "one more chance"...then another...and another
• Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or you hope that it will magically go away
• Joining them in the behavior when you know they have a problem with it - Drinking, gambling, porn,etc.,
• Joining them in blaming others - for their own feelings, problems, and misfortunes
• Accepting their justifications, excuses and rationalizations - "I'm destroying myself with sexual addiction because I'm depressed".
• Avoiding problems - keeping the peace, believing a lack of conflict will help
• Doing for them what they should be able to do for themselves -
• Softening or removing the natural consequences of the problem behavior
• Trying to "fix" them or their problem

As enabling behaviors become routine, supporters end up feeling frustrated, ineffectual, and angry. Often, they continue to enable because they don't want to appear mean or unreasonable. Enabling behaviors directly and indirectly support the vicious cycle of the never-ending problems and pain of addiction. When supporters stop enabling, when they stop helping and covering up for the addict, they allow the addict to experience the consequences of their out-of-control behavior. 

They no longer wake them up. 

 Make excuses for their mistress.

Bail them out of jail. 

They stop shielding them from the

consequences of their behaviors.

So the question to ask here is...

Am I enabling an ADULTERER

by defending them....

AGAIN!?!?

Ripple Affect AND Effect

An affair affects the whole family and the effect

is

PAINFUL for EVERYONE!

See two people secretly make choices they think they can hide and keep secret. Right there adulterers, is the clue that what they're doing is WRONG! BUT-they don't CARE! You pick up a stick at one end...the other end moves whether you meant for it to or not. So now they've committed adultery....

...and think they can control the consequences.

HELL-they couldn't control themselves-

NOW they want to control everything else!

NOT!!!

Their families are left with the cleanup!

The devastation!

The sadness!

The embarrassment!

Spouses try to hide from family friends!

Seeing someone in the grocery store and KNOWING they KNOW!

The public humiliation for them and their families should have been thought about LONG before they even entertained the thought of sharing a kiss...let alone the actual action of ADULTERY!

Cause and effect...bummer-they go hand in hand!

So as NOT to plagerize an AMAZING article about the decisions we make...go read this for yourself.

Better yet...

find an adulterer you know and have them read it!!!!

http://www.rippleaffect.com.au/wp/archives/1124

Copy paste this link and have a good read!

It's time for the adulterers to start

handling some of the clean-up!

Or at least OWNING it!

Cheap Hotels

Have you ever stayed in a cheap hotel?

At some time or another we all have...traveling with a family has monetary limitations.

You have more than 3 children-by law-you have to get 2 rooms.

Fire Marshall says...No more than 5 to a room!

Depending on what city you stay in...the price is high or low.

Or depending on when you stay (Holiday, local event)...the price is high or low.

But WHY do you stay in a cheap motel in your

own town during the week?

Or when your spouse has the kids?

You take the risk of getting bed bugs...

or worse....An STD!

Commitments

Having an affair outside of the marriage...it's a given...these people do NOT honor sacred commitments. Either party in the adulterous lustful relationship does not have the future in their sights.

If they did they would recognize that....

If you don't honor the most holy commitment you make....

then you won't honor other commitments you make...

which means eventually you will start the downward spiral of...

• Sleazy dressing...
• Poor language...
• turning away from God...
• ignoring other family relationships...
• dropping friends who are honest with you...
• Making non-adulterous false statements   
• (lying about other things besides just lying about the affair)
• Sexual harassment of others
• Lazy Parenting
• Substance abuse

See it's like this....EVIL has limitations. It follows the same path every time. First this-then this-then this. That is why you can profile a criminal or vindictive spouse.

They have no imagination-really-because they work in the dark areas of the mind.

When things are good and right...the possibilities are endless. God endorses good and holy behaviors and even gives them enlightenment.

Not an evil unrepentant adulterer though....

• they may think they are smart....
• and clever...
• and will come out ahead....

That's okay....the rest of us know...

They'll crumble....because

EVIL HAS LIMITATIONS

and makes NO COMMITMENTS!!!



Putting on Appearances

You go out with friends-you put on your "Out with Friends" face.

You go to work-you put on your "Going to Work" face.

You spend time with family-you put on your "Be with Family" face.

But SIN has a face of it's own!

And it has puts it's face ALL OVER YOU!

It AGES you!

Have you looked in the mirror lately?

Makes your EYES dark!

Changes your DEMEANOR!

You get SHIFTY!

You are quick to ANGER!

Kicks your CONFIDENCE!

Makes you SUSPICIOUS!

Shows your FROWN lines!

Makes you look like your weathered GRANDPARENT!

Hardens the SOFTNESS in your voice!

Zaps your ENERGY!

FEEDS off your lowering self esteem!

Your whole SINFUL face shows your....

Hollowness

Evilness

Shallowness

Darkness

Lifelessness

Sadness

Emptiness

NO make-over can cover that up!

GUESS WHEN YOU SLEEP WITH THE DEVIL....

YOU START TO LOOK LIKE THE DEVIL TOO!!!

Or in other words-

MAN YOU LOOK LIKE HELL!!!!

Parenting While Adultering

The adultering parent has a mixed up idea of right and wrong. These are the obvious messages the children get by observing the behavior of the adulterer…..

• It’s alright if I screw my spouses’ GOOD friend
• It is NOT alright for your other parent to parent you-even though they are your parent.
• I will not parent you right now-so I will NOT allow your other parent to either.
• Anything you do is okay with me as long as it is NOT okay with your other parent.
• I will NOT take you to church-but you MUST go to church at your local church when it’s your other parents’ weekend. Therefore your other parent must bring you home EARLY-so you can miss church!?!?
• I can work LONG hours and skip fixing a meal-your other parent must abide by all the rules.
• I will demand court ordered protections then cry to the children about their stubborn other parent for NOT stepping over boundaries set in place by me.
• Even though your other parent provided these items for YOU-they are now MINE to help in my divorce manipulations.
• When things get hard the best thing to do is find someone with MORE money.
• It’s always good to appear as the victim-even though that is NOT taking personal responsibility.
• It’s okay to lie-if you get caught-lie some more!
• It’s not my fault I’m like this-so is my parent-and grandparent….
• It’s okay to quit-I did.
• Your other parent is bad-I AM good.
• Listen to my voice-not my actions.
• If there are problems-BLAME your other parent!
• If I make a big enough deal out of every issue-the children will not SEE the evil I do.

Oh what tangled webs we weave...

...when first we practice to deceive.

Good Thing Adulterers are Adultering in this Day and Age!

In a Google search on Adultery...this was many different scriptural references from different religious

interpretations of Leviticus 20: 10.

Maybe-just maybe-when the adulterer said

 

"They prayed about ending

the marriage with their spouse"

 

They were praying to some IDOL GOD when given the answer to divorce-because in my scriptures...and everyone else's...God ain't with you if you're ADULTERING!!!

 

• New International Version (©1984)    "'If a man commits adultery with another man's wife--with the wife of his neighbor--both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.
• New Living Translation (©2007)"If a man commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.
• English Standard Version (©2001)“If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• New American Standard Bible (©1995)If there is a man who commits adultery with another man's wife, one who commits adultery with his friend's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)"If a man commits adultery with another man's wife or with his neighbor's wife, both he and the woman must be put to death for their adultery.
• King James BibleAnd the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• American King James VersionAnd the man that commits adultery with another man's wife, even he that commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• American Standard VersionAnd the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• Bible in Basic EnglishAnd if a man has sex relations with another man's wife, even the wife of his neighbour, he and she are certainly to be put to death.
• Douay-Rheims BibleIf any man commit adultery with the wife of another, and defile his neighbour's wife, let then: be put to death, both the adulterer and the adulteress.
• Darby Bible TranslationAnd a man that committeth adultery with a man's wife, who committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall certainly be put to death.
• English Revised VersionAnd the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• Webster's Bible TranslationAnd the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• World English Bible"'The man who commits adultery with another man's wife, even he who commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• Young's Literal Translation'And a man who committeth adultery with a man's wife -- who committeth adultery with the wife of his neighbour -- the adulterer and the adulteress are surely put to death.
• Clarke's Commentary on the Bible       Committeth adultery - To what has been said in the note on See Exodus 20:14 (note), we may add, that the word adultery comes from the Latin adulterium, which is compounded of ad, to or with, and alter, another, or, according to Minshieu, of ad alterius forum, he that approaches to another man's bed.
• Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible        And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife,.... Which is a breach of the seventh command, Exodus 20:14,  even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife: which is only an explanation of the former clause; though the Jewish writers, as Jarchi and Ben Gersom, say this is so expressed to except the wife of a stranger, or a Gentile; but it means whether a Gentile or an Israelite; and which may be confirmed by the instance of Phinehas slaying a prince of Israel, that lay with a Midianitish woman, Numbers 25:6,  the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death; on account of her that is espoused, by strangling, with a hard napkin within a soft one; and on account of her that is married, by casting stones; even both the adulterer and adulteress, as the Targum: and the Jews say (b), strangling was thus performed; they that were strangled were fixed up to their knees in dung, and then they put a hard napkin within a soft one, and rolled it about his neck, and one drew it to him this way, and another drew it to him that way, until he expired: and there is no unlawful copulation punished with strangling, according to Maimonides (c), but lying with another man's wife; and who observes, that the death which is spoken of in the law absolutely, that is, without specifying any kind of death, is strangling; but stoning seems rather meant, agreeably to Deuteronomy 22:24.  (b) Misn. Sanhedrin, c. 7. sect. 3.((c) Hilchot lssure Biah, c. 1. sect. 6.
• Geneva Study Bible   And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
• Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary    20:10-27 These verses repeat what had been said before, but it was needful there should be line upon line. What praises we owe to God that he has taught the evil of sin, and the sure way of deliverance from it! May we have grace to adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things; may we have no fellowship with unfruitful works of darkness, but reprove them.

Just be thankful if you're ADULTERING

you're doing so in the U.S. of A. and NOT

 some Taliban run society!

False Sense of Security

The adulterers trash their spouses for each other. 

But can they really trust each other?

The very foundation of the adultering relationship is built on a lie!

Two liars adultering to form a relationship, now there's an awesome thing to have in common...NOT!

All things that were once...

HOLY

SACRED

SPECIAL

PURE

and

LASTING

Have now been traded for...

UNHOLY

SLEAZY

TEMPORARY

DIRTY

and

WICKED

When they're together and talk about their relationship being so right...why is it all done in secret?

All things good and right are things you can be proud of and share.

Anything to be ashamed of is kept hidden and done in secret combinations.

Um, just a reminder...

WICKEDNESS NEVER WAS HAPPINESS!

Thank You!

To the adulterers out there-Thank you!

No matter what the rest of us do…

at least we didn’t do THAT!

See-you might think you maligned us.

You might think you hurt us by all those lies about us…

but really…

the only thing anyone will remember about all of this is

YOU ADULTERED!

YOU chose poorly.

Those lies about the other member of your marriage

FORGOTTEN

The charges filed against the other member of your marriage

DROPPED

The “stuff” awarded in the divorce settlement

USED

The hurt children

YOUR DOING!

The guilt

YOURS!

The scarlet letter

YOURS!

So since YOU committed adultery….

It is quite possible…

That's the only thing

 anyone WILL remember!

Current Events

Brock has requested and received court permission to file an amended pleading based on what the court papers describe as "marital waste," referring to tens of thousands of dollars Susan Brock spent on the Chandler victim. "As part of that illicit relationship, (Susan Brock) spent enormous amounts of community property funds on expensive gifts for the minor male," Fulton Brock's attorney, Kristy Blackwell, wrote. "The total amounts wasted are unknown to date. (Fulton) continues to discover new debts, credit cards, secret lines of credit and missing funds."

Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/2011/07/01/20110701chandler-brock-divorce-update-debt.html#ixzz1RC7poBpT

(Speaking about Casey Anthony) "Responses to grief are as varied as the day is long, but responses to guilt are oh, so predictable," Drane Burdick said. "What do guilty people do? They lie. They avoid. They run. They mislead, not just to their family, but the police. They divert attention away from themselves and they act like nothing is wrong.   Read more: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2011/07/04/20110704casey-anthony-trial-jury-deliberates.html#ixzz1RC8NrpBl

(Speaking about Arnold Schwarzenegger) Sharon Osborne tells Nancy O’Dell she was "disappointed with him for being so horribly disrespectful and deceitful." She continues, "he can do whatever he wants in hotels on the road whatever knock yourself out but you don't disrespect your family by doing it in your own home to me it's unthinkable." Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/22/sharon-osbourne-arnold-sc_n_882350.html

Jose Antonio Vargas, a former Washington Post reporter, has come out of the closet and announced to the world that he is an illegal alien. In his tell-all confession, published in the New York Times Magazine, he outs not only himself, but others who abetted his illegal presence and employment in the United States, including The Post itself, which continued to employ him even after a member of the paper’s management learned that he had lied about his citizenship. Read more: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/jul/4/jose-antonio-vargas-poster-child-for-why-e-verify-/

Adulterers and current events have the same ring tone......

Blame it on your

LYING, CHEATING,

COLD DEAD BEATING,

TWO TIMING, DOUBLE DEALING,

MEAN MISTREATING,

LOVING HEART

.... by Patty Loveless

Fireworks

Some celebrations require fireworks!

New's Year's Eve!

Independence Day!

Winning championship games!

High School Football games!

Olympic Ceremonies!

Now-a-days you can buy fireworks on the vacant corner lot or at your local grocery store. You can spend all kinds of money for many different named visual delights. But no matter how much you spend buying those fireworks-NONE of them compare to the professionally designed art show in the sky by the experts. Those cheap corner lot ones satisfy for a minute-but you can't compare them to the real thing.

What does this have to do with anything?

Well-those cheap replica's are like committing adultery.

No matter how hard you try

to make that relationship

beautiful

and lovely

and worthy of good memories.

 It won't happen.

WHY?

Well because you have to sneak around....kind of like letting off fireworks on non-legal days and hoping the cops don't knock at your door and ask if those were yours. Or because you can't share the memory with all your family and friends. Or because deep down inside you KNEW it was wrong and so you feel dirty...and who wants to share THAT kind of memory?

Or because REALLY...

...sex on the sly isn't pretty!

Self Loathing

We all feel frustration with ourselves...

...oh man why didn't I....

or

....why did I....

You know-it's called regret.

You get on the scales after a vacation and you gained 5 or 10 pounds

and you're so mad at yourself for not being more disciplined. You

spent ALL that time before the trip to exercise and eat right and then

you finally look good in vacation attire.

You get your credit card bill at the end of the month and you

are shocked at what you spent on frivolous stuff.

You cave in and say "yes" to the kids,

when you really should have said "no".

You know-like I said-REGRET!

When others commit adultery to they get mad at themselves?

Do they have regrets?

Do they think..."Man-I spent fifteen minutes in the back of my car and now I feel so CHEAP!" Or do they think..."Man-I spent fifteen minutes in the back of my car and now I feel like a million bucks?" Maybe the first time they feel like a million bucks...but the third or fourth or tenth time? After a while do they start to feel dirty? It would seem like 10 showers couldn't wash all that cheapness or regret off. Here one of them gets to go home, cuddle up to their spouse while the other of them gets to go home and start dividing property because they hoped the other meant what they said about dumping their spouse too. 

(it's kind of ironic that while adultering they make promises

to each other that they don't keep

-it's a given here folks-

they're already breaking promises with others

when they're scandalously together!!!)

Funny thing though-the other adulterer didn't follow thru. So does adulterer A panic and start pressuring adulterer B or does adulterer A put more meanness into the "kicked to the Curb, card carrying lifetime member, 'til death do us part, spouse?" Adulterer A can't really put any pressure on adulterer B because adulterer B still has an intact marriage and if adulterer A puts pressure on adulterer B then all that one has to do is call it quits....kind of...we'll see!

But in the meantime....

is there self loathing

or

regrets?

Gatherings

They happen!

With or without you!

Where's your husband?

Where's your wife?

OH YOU HAVEN'T HEARD???

They committed adultery!

They probably won't be to any more of these.

Maybe next year I'll have a different life partner.

Who knows?

We all make choices...

We choose to HONOR our commitments.

OR

We choose NOT to.

It's not easy being on either side of the divorce argument...

but clearly...

being on the side of valuing commitments...

is the side I'd want to be on....

ESPECIALLY AT ANY GATHERING!
Just one of those raw consequences
NOT
thought about while committing adultery!

Birds of a Feather

Did you ever think about the "other woman" in news reports?

Didn't you hate her?
Oh especially Camilla...because we all loved Diana!
What about Arnie's maid?
We all thought Arnold was the best and then we find out-so did the maid!
Didn't you hate the maid!?
Didn't you hate Arnie!?
Because we all love Maria!

You see the perfect couple sitting in church.
Life for them seems perfect.
Then you find the truth out about them.
They're getting divorced.
You hear stuff.
Then you hear other stuff.
Then you KNOW STUFF!!!!
Then you GET it!

What about the guy at work that is all together? Happy wife-happy kids.
Then you find out he's betrayed his wife!
Then you hate him!

People that have lustings and commit adultery lose all crediblity with everyone that know the truth after that. They've lied to you for so long and others for so long it's time they were exposed for the fabrication of their so called victimization and miserable life. Funny how they created all that in their mind to validate their sorry choices for ruining the lives of their kids and others.

My nail lady would sit there and do my nails and talk about how her old boyfriend contacted her on facebook. Next thing you know, she's moving out of the house and making weak excuses about her hubby and being tired of him because he never got around to re-doing the master bathroom. I had to quit going to her because it was like-seriously? You haven't seen this boyfriend since high school and now you're putting all your eggs in THAT basket? It's been a year and I saw her the other day in the office. I asked her how her life was with the divorce and all....she said it SUCKED BIG TIME! Her kids hated coming over to visit because she lives in this little one room apartment. Things didn't work out with the boyfriend after all-He needed money and had tried to scam her. WOW! She gave up a card carrying husband for an idiot!

Seems to me-

like they were perfect for each other!

Bossy!

Okay....so the adulterer kicks out the card carrying other family parent. "Get lost non-person," says the adulterer! But then tries to run that person's life from a distance.

Confusion Abounds-

• You want them out of your life!
• You kick them to the curb!
• You tell everyone they're mental!
• You want to keep all their stuff!
• You tell them when they can have the kids!
• You tell them when they CAN'T have the kids!
• You file spurious charges against them!
• You get some high priced attorney to threaten them!
• You tell them what they can or can't say!

Do they seriously think they can run this person's life forever????

Remember sweetheart-

You kicked them out of YOUR life.

These folks that commit crimes of morality just don't get it!

God ain't gonna bless your life if you ain't doing what's right!

So no matter what they do to the lifetime card-carrying family

member that just got expelled from their life....
eventually-they find out-

THEY'RE not in charge-

THEY just think THEY are!

Who's the Victim?

Initially the adulterer thinks it's them!

So they go about doing all kinds of selfish things. Their whole validation concept becomes me! me! me! They forget about the part in the marriage ceremony where the question is asked "You do this of your own free will and choice?" They answer YES! At that very moment-all goals become family oriented-not ME oriented! So when the adulterer starts thinking THEIR needs aren't being met-then neither are the family's. Maybe-just maybe-the adulterer is contributing to the problem in a major fashion! But who wants to admit that they're part of the problem???

To cover this idea up-they start lashing out at the unadulterating parent.

Making that parent look bad.

Making that parent be the bad guy
         (it's their way of exposing how THEY feel about themselves).
Making that parent look like a BAD parent.
Making the children hate the innocent parent.
Creating situations that make the innocent parent look like
         everything's their fault.
Making that parent appear to be a loser.
Making that parent seem like they're the problem.
Making that parent look bad in front of their children
Making that parent seem like a mental case
         (because the adultering spouse is the one REALLY going
          mental trying to keep track of which lie they told to whom)
Making the children start questioning right from wrong.
Allowing the children to start thinking the fellow luster is
        BETTER than the good parent.
Making right wrong and wrong right.

It's clear...

No voting on the right panel needed....

In answer to the question "Who's the victim?"

THE CHILDREN ARE THE VICTIMS!!!!

Adulterers can't see that though-

they're to busy thinking about

ME! ME! ME!

OH NO!!!! Who ya gonna call?

The adulterers lives start to fall apart upon discovery of evidence in an affair. The luster (can't use the word "lover" here...because it's not love-it's lust) was maybe a close family friend. Which means ALL the friends know both adultering parties. So who do they turn to when the chips are down? Not an understanding friend-besides-who's gonna understand?

What those friends are thinking is this-

Stay the heck away from my wife dude!
Stay the heck away from my husband lady!

Life must be so lonely sometimes!

I feel pity for them-sorry takes to much effort. On an interesting note...synonyms for pity are disgrace and shame-yes-I feel those too.

Maybe the adulterer could call their mother?

Amazing How the Adulterers are All the Same!

Any spouse involved in an extra-marital relationship will usually develop changes in their attitude, patterns and lifestyle. The following are some typical signs a husband or wife involved in adultery might show; however, understand that these signs can apply to anyone. The true sign is normally a drastic change of some form. Your suspicions would certainly be justified if you discover your spouse's actions correspond to four or more of the following signs.

• A sudden loss of interest in normal family activities. Usually the guilt associated with an affair causes a withdrawal from the family.
• A loss of interest in the family's personal friends, again caused by guilt.
• A change in religious habits and ideas. It becomes difficult for a spouse involved in an extra-marital relationship to continue normal church activities due to guilt. Usually spouses who are regular church members and become involved in an affair will begin pulling away from the church by using excuses such as finding fault with the pastor.
• A sudden weight loss with special attention being paid to physical appearance such as hair color and grooming. Drastic changes usually indicate a spouse's attempt to impress someone.
• A new interest in clothes or a style change. Again, this falls into the category of attempting to impress. Occasionally when a spouse changes their clothing style, weight and appearance, they may not be involved with any particular person, but may be looking for an involvement.
• The beginning of frequent late hours at the office. This can also be a sign of family problems that result in a spouse's desire to stay away from the home. Correcting marital problems at this point can prevent an affair.
• Going directly to the shower after arriving home late from work. A spouse who has had a sexual encounter just prior to arriving at home, usually feels not only a sense of guilt, but a need to "Destroy any Evidence" by cleaning up.
• The presence of makeup, perfume, or cologne on clothing. This seems to occur more often than not during sporadic meetings of a spouse and someone. The presence of these on clothing is indicative of unplanned and intense encounters.
• The sudden need to leave home early to go to work. Again, this can be a result of family problems and the desire to spend as little time at home as possible.
• Hang-up telephone calls. Not the infrequent mistakes everyone suffers, but calls with some regularity. Frequent hang up calls would simply seem to indicate the wrong party answered the telephone.
• A sudden urge to answer all telephone calls or nervousness and quiet conversation during the calls. This is caused by guilt and the worry of possible discovery of the affair.
• Sudden and frequent short trips to the store at night. This is indicative of the possible use of a pay telephone or a short visit to someone.
• A sudden pleasant, nice, helpful attitude, which can occur during the initial stages of the affair and takes place in order to compensate for the guilt involved. Any spouse involved in an affair is normally concerned over the possibility of detection. For some reason they seem to rationalize that if they are "perfect" at home their spouse could not possibly believe they were involved with anyone else. A simple example would be an immediate increase in the frequency of normal sexual relations. If a man, who normally has sex with his wife an average of three times a week, becomes involved in an affair it is not abnormal for him to increase that amount from three to five times a week. In his mind he believes the increase at home prevents his wife from even considering he is involved with someone else. For a short period of time everything at home is beautiful for the wife; however, the husband's lifestyle will begin to cause problems. This same husband who had a normal sexual frequency of three times a week has now increased that amount to five at home. He also may be averaging five times a week with his girlfriend. We have now gone from an average of three to a potential ten times per week. That lifestyle will not last long. Relief has got to come from somewhere. Keep in mind that at that point the five per week with the girlfriend is by choice. The five per week at home is obligation. The "Have To" at home is the relationship that will begin to suffer. A steady decrease will begin and usually it will come with his excuse that he is tired, has a headache or is sick. It may be as simple as watching television until he is sure his wife is asleep before going to bed, but whatever the reason, the frequency will decrease. As it decreases, a funny thing begins to happen. The husband's guilt begins to affect him. He knows what he is doing is not right. That guilt will cause the beginning of frequent arguments in the home. The arguments serve a twofold purpose; first, it lessens the husband's obligation of having sex with his wife and, second, it gives the husband the ability to blame the wife for his affair. As humans, we are programmed that when we do something wrong it can't be our fault. Men and women both blame each other for their "Having" to become involved in an affair. "If she treated me better, I wouldn't have to do this." Regardless of how that sounds, it is true.
• The introduction of new techniques in a couple's sexual relations. Spouses involved in an extra-marital relationship often become exposed to new sexual techniques and, on occasion, will introduce these techniques into their home life.
• A sudden inability to please the spouse. One spouse cannot do anything right in the eyes of the other. Keep in mind this serves the purpose of allowing the guilty spouse to blame the other for their relationship.
• A need to "get away for a few days." This can either occur because of guilt or because the guilty spouse wants to spend time with the person they are involved with.
• Keeping extra clothing in the car. On occasions, an involved spouse will need clean clothing to change into prior to arriving at home to avoid detection of makeup, perfume or cologne. On other occasions, they may desire to change from work attire into something more suitable prior to meeting someone.
• Sudden and unexplained trips out of town. This usually occurs when a spouse involved in an affair is limited to only short and infrequent encounters with the person they are involved with. Women especially will not stand for continued short visits for any length of time. They demand quality time to compensate for short visits that tend to make them feel used and cheap.
• Unexplained disappearance of money or use of credit cards. Men involved in a relationship tend to hide money to be used for entertaining their girlfriend. Some women will hide money in preparation for what they believe will be an upcoming divorce.
• Unexplained pressure building with a total inability to cope, usually caused by guilt. People respond differently to guilt, but normally, a person involved in an affair will display drastic changes in their character.
• The explanation "I'm confused and need some time to myself." This can simply mean, "I'm through with this marriage, but I don't know how to get out of it in the most beneficial manner."
• A sudden discussion of divorce or separation. This can indicate that a spouse involved in an affair has developed a serious emotional attachment for the person they are involved with.
• An actual separation, with the explanation "I love you, but I'm confused and need to find myself." A husband may mean, "I have someone else, our marriage is over" or "I want a divorce, but I don't want the divorce to cost me, so I'll humor you and be friends until the divorce is final." A wife may mean exactly the same, but she is mainly concerned with what she will get out of the marriage financially.

The first paragraph said if the spouse met four or more of the signs...how bout at least 16?

Found this in a Google search under "Vindictive Spouses"